Nipple cream: weird name, elite function.

There are a lot of things you expect when you get pregnant. Ultrasounds. Cravings. That weird little giggle when someone says, “You’re glowing,” but you know it’s actually just sweat. But no one ever pulls you aside and whispers the real secrets of second trimester survival. Like the fact that you will absolutely fall in love with a tiny tube of nipple cream. Or that belly bands, squatty pillows, and high-waisted maternity leggings might just become your entire personality.

It’s time we talk about the unexpected MVPs of pregnancy. The underdog heroes. The weird-sounding, not-so-cute, life-altering sidekicks that make this magical rollercoaster just a little less bumpy.

Let’s begin with the GOAT: Nipple Cream

Oh nipple cream, you slippery angel sent from the self-care heavens. Despite the name (which sounds like it belongs in a bad joke), this stuff is next-level.

"It’s not just for nipples anymore, babe. It’s for lips, dry patches, cuticles, elbows, dignity."

That teeny tube becomes your all-purpose miracle balm. Forgot your lip balm? Nipple cream. Elbows looking like you’ve been crawling through a desert? Nipple cream. Need to tame an unruly brow or a scaly knee? You know what’s coming.

By 25 weeks, you’ll be stashing a tube in every handbag and contemplating adding it to your birth plan. "Apply nipple cream liberally in moments of emotional distress."

Honourable Mentions in the Pregnancy Hall of Fame:

• Body Pillows: Your new romantic partner. Big, squishy, and never complains when you steal the doona. i>
• Compression Socks: Because pregnancy feet are a thing. And no, it’s not cute. It’s balloonish. It’s puffy. It’s sock time.
• Toilet Stool: Trust us. Easier... everything. Just get one. You’re welcome.
• Freezer Snacks: Frozen grapes. Mini Magnums. That one random pastry you forgot about and now worship. Pregnancy cravings demand cold and immediate satisfaction.
• Water Bottles the Size of Toddlers: Because you are somehow both thirsty and peeing constantly. An enigma.

Some things in pregnancy hit different. Like cheese. Or nipple balm. Or a chair with a backrest.

Real talk: You will cry over something dumb

It could be a puppy in a TV ad. It could be because you dropped a biscuit. It could be because your partner bought the wrong hummus. Again. (It had garlic. You TOLD them about the garlic.)

“Crying in maternity leggings over a stale muffin? Iconic.”

This is why those little unsung heroes are everything. Because when your brain feels like soup and your body is building a human, the tiniest comfort can feel like salvation.

Fashion as Function: Your Wardrobe Deserves Better

It’s time to retire your regular jeans with the grace they deserve. They had a good run. They gave you hot-girl errands. They made your butt look like it was carved from marble. But right now? They’re just judging you from the wardrobe.

Enter: the Emamaco maternity legging. High

-waisted, bump-loving, squat-proof magic. Stretchier than your patience at 3pm on a weekday. And they actually look good. Like, Instagram-worthy good.

Let’s get weird (and helpful): Unexpected Items You Might Want

• Mini fan in your handbag. Pregnancy hot flashes are not a myth. They are a furnace-level truth.
• Saline spray for dry nose drama. Look, no one talks about pregnancy nosebleeds and that is a crime.
• Instant noodles. Sometimes you crave gourmet. Sometimes you want something beige and salty. Follow your truth.
• Over-ear headphones. Not for music. For dramatic effect when avoiding household conversations.

"Pregnancy tip: judge no craving, trust no fart, buy the nipple cream."

Support Squad, Ass

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Your crew matters more than ever. Maybe it's your partner. Maybe it’s a group chat full of other preggo queens. Maybe it’s the Uber Eats driver who just gets you. Whoever it is, lean in. Let them hype you up, feed you, fetch your body pillow from the floor at 2am. (The floor gets far. Real far.)

And when you need to retreat? Wrap yourself in a blanket burrito, lather up in nipple cream, slide into comfy leggings, and embrace the weirdness.

Final thoughts from the soft, stretchy trenches

Pregnancy isn’t just about growing a baby. It’s about discovering a new version of yourself. A version that unapologetically loves weird products, values stretchy pants above all else, and isn’t afraid to carry a tiny bottle of nipple balm like it’s liquid gold.

Here’s to you, mama. To the belly. To the boobs. To the rogue tears and the cold grapes and the unhinged online shopping at 3am. You are doing something miraculous — and if that means overpacking your hospital bag with nipple balm, three fans, and ten pairs of Emamaco leggings, so be it.

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Wear the cream. Rock the leggings. Ignore the garlic hummus. And don’t let anyone dull your pregnant sparkle. You’re a legend. Full stop.